One Day in the President's Office #2

Working on additional content. In the meantime, let's visit with our friends again...

Here's our budget my old friends. *
We have a shortfall once again
Enrollment numbers we do lack
Guess some instructors we will have to sack
We need to cover our own salaries
What must be, must be.
Alas for the sound of slicing.

* Sung to the song "The Sound of Silence" 

In restless dreams I sometimes see
Crying students begging me
'Neath the halo of a poor GPA
Screaming: "Please don't send me away!"
And then I get punched in the gut
By a looming salary cut
I do indeed hear the sound of slicing.

We give them opportunity
A chance to live the American Dream
They thank us by flunking out
In an endless academic rout
Then their federal aid comes to an end
Which to me does offend
Alas, for the sound of slicing

I just got back from a conference
Where I was met with deference
Now I hear that I might have to save
And my travel budget I must shave
THis is such indignity
How can it be.
We need to hear the sound of slicing.

Fools said I: "You do not know."
"That our salaries must grow."
We're running out of services to cut
And student supports that we can freely gut
Our salaries must be six figures
It's de rigeur
Here comes the sound of slicing.

Though the student will scream and cry
Claiming we have offered them a lie
For the record: we don't care
Higher ed is buyer beware
Corporate college is here to stay
It is the Neoliberal way
Let's get down to the sound of slicing!