My Social Awakening

I had a social awakening about education when I turned 50.

This surprised me. I had always thought I was pretty savvy and a good critical thinker. But then events transpired close to me that opened my eyes. I saw the business of higher education for what it is – a business. And not always a good one.

I was an administrator at a small, private college. The school was making some decisions I felt were less than ethical and after much deliberation voiced my protest. That was pretty much the end of my time as an administrator. Having taught for more than 20 years I moved back into teaching full-time. At least there I can do what I enjoy and work with students.

However, the events surrounding my exit (and I need to be vague here since I still work in the profession) really woke me up.

Despite being in my late 40s and having worked in academia for 20 years, I was horribly naive. I still thought that higher education was about the student. The fact that it really wasn't – or at least wasn't enough – was what really woke me up. It started me on a path of discovery. And interestingly ANOTHER wakening. 

Though I had heard about the "corporatization" of college long before, this was the first time I was confronted by it in all its ugliness. I wanted to learn more. Not only that, I wanted to sound the alarm. I wanted to let people know: “THIS IS HAPPENING!”

Which was also pretty darned naive. This cry has been going out for years. Decades really. Every “revolutionary” thought that popped into my head had been said. Usually repeatedly.

I guess you could say I had my “Zen” moment. I now understood how little I knew.

My final days as an administrator threw me into an ethical crisis about higher education. Everything I learned after that redoubled this crisis. I was looking for answers. I only found more questions. And I started to wonder: Is anyone even listening? Does anyone care?

I like the idea of higher education. I enjoy teaching and I like helping people. But as time has passed, I have really begun to question the soul of the industry. Does it really have the best interest of students in mind? At best, it is dysfunctional; at worst it is downright unethical. Can I even fit in to something like this without being a total hypocrite? I would like to think I can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

But as time passes, I wonder – can the problems actually be solved? Do I just have to surrender and make the best of a bad situation? Or do I at least try to do something about it?

I think I want to at least try. Which is part of the reason I want to do this blog.

My friends joke about how I am the most cynical, glass-is-half-empty person they know. (And they are correct.) However, my series of social awakenings has made me realize something important – I still care. Perhaps more importantly, I still believe. At some level I still have my idealism. I think we can help other people. I think we can make a better world. I think education is both important AND salvageable.

I just worry that as a society, we are not up to that salvage job.